Detailed calculations by a leading football club have suggested that, rather than paying the current rate on the open international transfer market for competent footie players, it may be more cost-effective for the clubs to fund an entire genetic research project and to find out which genes are responsible for creating the necessary talents.
Researchers will try and isolate the genes responsible for being able to kick a ball into an onion bag, crash gold-plated Ferraris, shag decorative but dim-witted bimbos, sprout ridiculous haircuts, and give 110% on a cold Tuesday evening in Blackburn.  The club will look for an immediate launch of a dedicated
programme of breeding and genetic modification to deliver new recruits ready for the pre-season friendly circuit each year in July.
Some have argued that it might be cheaper to underwrite the cost of a series of explorations of distant galaxies, looking for places which could support football-playing life and finding one where suitably talented natives could be recruited and provided with homes on Earth. One spokesperson was sceptical however, noting: ‘£200 million to get a top class player? You’re on another planet, mate’.